Ladies and gentlemen, I have an item for sale that you just can’t find anywhere, its almost a one of a kind.
This never opened 12 pack of Cottonelle toilet paper has been in my family for weeks now making it a classic at this point. You can keep it in its wrapper or break it open and enjoy its cleaning ripples on you ass.
Although it may be only 12 rolls, you get the equivalent of 24, so its like getting two times your money’s worth!
I have consulted worldwide experts on it’s value, everyone from that Santa look a like at Walmart to the guys from Pawn Stars.
The asking price is $50 firm plus $20 for shipping in the USA. NO LOWBALLING!! I know what I have and what its worth.
Now, I know what you are thinking, ” I don’t need that!”. Well you aren’t alone.
Just be like that guy and use your pants.
Or maybe you heard another rumor going around about Corona virus.
If you believe that one I would suggest you take it out back and burn it all. Then encourage your neighbors to do the same.
In reality, we all know what is going on.
I never trusted that bear, rubbing his ass on trees yet won’t pick up his kids dirty underwear.
But until this crisis is over we can be reassured that the Snowman and the Bandit are on the job.
And now you know the plot of Smokey and the Bandit 4.