Drunky hits everything but the lottery

WOOD RIVER, Ill. (KMOV.com) – A Wood River woman is facing charges for allegedly crashing into nine parked cars, a fence and a retaining wall on Thursday.

Wow, nine cars a fence and a wall. Go big or go home!

Susan Garrett, 39, is charged with aggravated driving under the influence and criminal damage to property over $500.

Police say in the early morning hours on Thursday, she crashed a white SUV into five parked cars in the 600 block of 2nd Street in Wood River. Authorities believe she also struck four other parked cars near the intersection of George Street and Beach Street.

Listen, I have to know what she was driving. That is one safe SUV to take all those hits and keep going.

She is also accused of striking a fence, pole and retaining wall.

Fence and a wall, just sitting there in her way. They were asking for it.

She is being held in the Wood River City Jail on a $50,000 bond.

Wow, thats alot. You wipe out a neighborhood or two and all of a sudden your a “dangerous” person? WTF? We should out up an ad for her bail.

Posting for my friend Susan. She was out a a job interview and they must have put alcohol in the coffee they offered her cuz she was really drunk when she left. She thought she could drive cuz she don’t have Uber money being a mom of 6 and not gettin help from there 8 baby daddy’s. ( we still ain’t sure about two of them until we go on the Maury show). We needs like 80,000 dollars to get her out of jail, get a lawyer and she needs a new suv. Any thing will help. She also wants a pizza when she makes bail, so a few dollars for that.”