You hid your stash where?

Louisiana- A Galliano woman is facing theft charges after she allegedly took $5,000 from a man in West Monroe. 

According to an arrest report for Ashley Rolland, 23, officers discussed the investigation with the suspect and victim at the West Monroe Police Department. 

The victim said Rolland stayed with him for the past week, and while he was in the shower, she took approximately $5,000 off of his dresser and left the apartment. 

Who leaves five grand just sitting on a dresser? Ever heard of a bank or safe? I get it, you wanted to show of for that fine piece of ass you just moved into your place. If it was drug money, I’m surprised he went to the cops.

Per the report, Rolland said she took the money and left. 

Didn’t see that what coming. But Ashley’s wacky adventure was just getting ready to start.

During a search of Rolland, officers located $6,233 and found a clear plastic bag containing approximately one gram of meth in her vagina. 

Just shove it up in there, the cops won’t find it. Did a dog fund it? Poor dog probably can’t get that smell out of head is going to be afraid to sniff out a body again.

I have no idea what meth smells like so I’m not sure if her shoving it up her snatch made it smell better or worse. Nor do I know if she charge extra for pussy flavored meth. Ashley just wasn’t done yet.

Rolland denied ownership of the methamphetamine. 

OMG, thats not mine officer !! I don’t know how it got in there. I was banging some guy earlier and he must have put it in there with me knowing.

I got one last question. Did they find anything else in her torpedo tunnel that she didn’t know was there?

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