Save our Turtleboy

Turtleboy is in trouble and needs our help. You all know the stories, so I won’t get into that.

Instead, I’m going to take you shopping in their store and show you a few cool Turtleboy items.

For only $10 you get ad free content. No more hot asian women in Fall River click here. No more half way through and boom, ad, start over, and no more “want to know how celebrities poop, click here”. The best part, you get real news and entertainment. For the same price you could get Clive crying racism. So for the price of 10 cheap cups of coffee it is worth it.

You have seen the MAGA hat, now get one that sends a similar message but allows to to ask the stupid liberal that complains about it ” can you read?” Two for one deal right there. And this hat has the official title of ” As seen on Turtleboy!”

A little more low key is the truck hat. If you dont bent it you almost got a flat brimmed hat. I think it comes in different colors, I dont know, I didnt look.

Unless you carry a bag of quarters around, you have a cell phone. These cool cases come in Samsung, Iphone or, wait does anyone have a different type? I had an HTC once years ago. Do they even make phones anymore? Well, get a case so that way people know why you are starring at your phone and laughing, you are reading Turtleboy!

Dont.Poke.The.Turtle coffee mug. That is everyone’s motto before that first cup o joe. This mug holds coffee, tea, or any form of liquid. The only question you have to ask is, why is there a pineapple in that picture? Seriously, it makes no sense.

Are you following ratchet madness? Just because it is almost over doesn’t mean the good times and memories can last all year.

Ladies, have been thinking ” what will my summer warbore consist of this year?” Probably not, but these shirt would look good on you. Buy one, send me a pic of you wearing it, and I’ll tell you it looks good on you, even if it doesn’t.

Dont like Facebook because they keep suspending the real favorite Turtleboy character TB Rider? Tell them how you feel in a shirt. We got mens and womens. You dont even have to know your gender to buy a shirt!

If I had a buck everytime someone wrote that.

The perfect way to say ” I’m a turtle rider and possibly a jerk at the same time” JK, more of fight the power shirts.

Summer is coming. You may want to go to a beach or pool. They have water. Get a towel to dry off. They are also good for drying off after a shower. Unless your a ratchet you probably do that more than once a month.

Well that is our brief shopping trip. These items and more can be bought at the Turtleboy shop

But wait, there’s more !! If you buy now you will get an emailed receipt authorized by Uncle Turtleboy himself!!!

Money tight? Its ok. Even $5 helps. Click here to donate

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