Fireball Frenzy

UNION, S.C. (AP) — Authorities say a South Carolina middle schooler who passed out in class last week had a backpack filled with nine empty mini bottles of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky.

Nine? Hey look, there is a party in my backpack and ya’ll invited !!! keep in mind this stuff is 33% alcohol, 66 proof. One or two should have knocked junior on his ass. More amazing is this kids is at school hammered, like nobody would notice. You know how great it would have been if he had gym class that day?

The State reports the Union County Sheriff’s Office report says a search of the 13-year-old’s bag also revealed another half-empty mini bottle and two unopened bottles.

Oh good, he save some for lunch. Nothing goes better Sheppard pie.

The report says the boy took the whisky from his unwitting grandfather and passed out an undetermined number of bottles to other Sims Middle School students.

Ok, does Grandpa have a liquor store, or one hell of a drinking problem? You don’t just take that may nip bottles and nobody notices. The good thing, he remember to share with his classmates, what a nice kid !!

It says he appeared to be drunk at school and was vomiting and moving unsteadily. He was hospitalized and later released.

You know the health teacher recorded this to show the class.

He was arrested and charged with drunkenness and liquor law violations possession at the school. The report says he was then released into his mother’s custody.

They will just cry he doesn’t know better and mom will get him drinking light beer instead. I think we can see where this is going. Odds are good this kid won’t get passed the 9th grade. He will drop out because drinking, doing drugs and getting fired from every shit job he can find will be more appealing. but that is ok, it will leave him with more time for whiskey shots with gramps.

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